Relationship and law

When first meeting someone new it is normal for most of us to avoid offending the stranger. As we get to know him we discover the person's likes and dislikes. If we want the relationship to continue we try to please the one who has now become a friend.

For various reasons relationships deteriorate and love grows cold over time. Some of our friend's habits, which we tolerated in the beginning, now irritate us. We know his preferences but were never in full agreement with all of them. Nevertheless we don't usually sever the connection. Instead, we avoid any form of conflict. We act in ways we believe he will find acceptable. If he does not approve we are surprised since we did our best and it was not good enough. It is natural at this stage to become negative towards him and lose interest in him as a person.

Children seem to have an inborn instinct to notice what parents are keen on. They generally want to please them. Maybe that is why Jesus has such harsh words for anyone who causes little ones to stumble (Mark 9:42). Inconsistency from a parent's side will cause the child to conform to what is expected, but not from the heart. The child becomes hypocritical towards the parent. The Greek word "hypokrites" means an actor. When a relationship declines to such an extent that it becomes role playing it is hardly worth keeping up.

Before we get to know Jesus we hear from God through our conscience and his commandments. The connection can be quite noisy. We don't always get the intended message, due to external and internal interference. Externally God's laws come to us via teachers, who are imperfect instruments; and internally our "flesh" does not like to be told how to behave. When we invite Jesus into our lives he gives us his Spirit to make his will known. Due to our sinful human nature the communication is still not flawless but it is direct; Jesus' followers interact with him personally.

Our friendship with Jesus can also stagnate to the extent that we act out his laws in a mechanistic way. I can ignore the whispers of his Spirit but keep his laws, or rather my interpretation of his laws. Then I behave in exactly the same way as those who never knew him but only lived by a list of "do's and don'ts". My opinion of him is likely to decline as I should expect when I become the centre of my universe and Jesus is relegated to a lesser role.

Every long term relationship requires work. Couples who have been married for a reasonable time will agree with this statement. The same applies to our relationship with Jesus. It needs to be maintained and not consigned to autopilot.

God's laws are still there to guide us but Jesus expects his followers to talk to him and hear from him daily. For this reason he gave us his Spirit, his Bible and his church.